Ever since I was young I have been obsessed with the relationship between happiness and success, and with managing that relationship to create experiences of peak performance, what Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi later wrote about in the book Flow (1990). I felt this to be connected to sexual polarity, or the relationship between masculine and feminine elements of the personality, both internally and in sexual relationships. (To give more context here, I view “masculine” as related to the ability to get what you want, whereas “feminine” is related to the ability to enjoy what you have. People often confuse this with gender roles, but it has very little to do with that. I write more about this in What Women Want: Towards a New Psychology of Love, Sex and Gender Relations. Masculine and feminine also correlate to the two poles of love within Jerry Jud’s ideas). In any case, Shirley Luthman’s book Collection, which I found when I was 26, answered a lot of my questions and gave me a good model that I adopted.
Despite this, I was mostly unhappy (and sometimes desperately so) until my early 40s. I was searching for a quality of relationship that I knew must exist, but seemed very elusive and generally beyond my grasp. I spent 30 years looking for this, through various personal development and training programs, community development on my own (networking with compatible people and bringing them together for purposes of fun and growth), and many romantic relationships. I was the king of tragic love affairs. I went through much pain in my quest, but I never gave up. I felt that I must either succeed in my quest or die. I simply was not willing to live a “life of quiet desperation” [Henri David Thoreau].
In 2004 my first big break occured. I met my ex-wife Rebekah and was introduced to the teachings of the Lafayette Morehouse and the late Victor Baranco. Rebekah and I had a very eventful and turbulent time for the 9 years of our marriage. About 3 years into it, we realized a dream of mine and created a commune (intentional community) near Philadelphia, which we ran very successfully for 3 years. In late 2009, our commune was shut down over zoning issues, but it remains one of the peak experiences of my life. Communal living (sharing physical and emotional space for fun and transformation) remains my passion and joy.
In 2010 I founded the business, WP Academy, that is currently supporting me. In 2013 Rebekah and I went separate ways. In 2014 I officially became a Digital Nomad, moving to Thailand and later India to write and to create digital courseware.
In the summer of 2015 I finished my first book, As Lovers Do. This is a relationship and comnunication model that is designed to help men become better at loving women, but it also has some great nuggets for women. The ideas in the book are based on my 30 years of research and/or work with many powerful and beloved teachers, including Victor Baranco, Jerry Jud, David Deida, Marshall Rosenberg, Dieter Duhm and many others. If you don’t know who these people are or why their ideas are important, you are in for an eye-opening experience from reading the book!
In the summer of 2016 I returned to the United States, and in August 2017 I finished the Circling and Authentic Relating Practice Guide. I am currently a starry-eyed idealist for the Circling and Authentic Relating movement, living and traveling for the purpose of growing this powerful movement, particularly the distinction called Informal Circling.