I have been unusually quiet on this list and so now it’s awkward to know where to start… and so (perhaps) forgive my long-windedness as I am trying to make meaning of this for myself even as I write.
Maybe I should start in January of 2018, in which it became clear I needed to find a base outside of Whitefield, NH, where I had returned from India in the spring of 2016. It had been a glorious ride living for 1 1/2 years in the nature paradise with my mom (with whom I get along really well, and hopefully was able to be of some assistance to her as well). I had written two books in that time, traveled widely by car, and Circled intensively online. I had developed a strong online network but I wanted to join (or create) an Authentic Relating (A/R) community around me, and I wanted a woman (or maybe several 🙂 ).
Anyway, it’s been a lot of mishigas since January of last year, even more than my usual. Relationships have been difficult, health has been compromised, and business development plans have been non-starters, right up until now. I was living on a modest passive income from my hosting business, which had been paying my bills ever since I left the US in 2014; but I had, essentially, lost interest in that business, and the best intentions for developing it proved to be ineffective. Especially as I was becoming more and more passionate about Circling, realizing the extraordinary power of the modality and wanting to have an impact there — which the book has had, it’s become the most popular book on Circling (within a still relatively small world-wide community, of course). I am now working on a 2nd edition of the book, incidentally, and I have a co-author.
The biggest inflection point in this 18-month odyssey was the loss of the hosting business in late January 2019, under catastrophic conditions that I won’t recount. In one week I lost all my passive income, and it threw my life into chaos. It was a tough lesson, but what I realized ultimately is that running a hosting business was no longer in integrity with who I am, or aligned with my interests; and that was the reason it failed. Hosting is very profitable but also very technical and very competitive, and I wasn’t keeping up. The bottom-line, is that I had stopped caring. It was time to quit.
But things are looking up — finally. I moved to Asheville, NC, in April of this year. After a few false starts I have found stable housing (Asheville is a landlord’s market); and in terms of relationships and community, I am rocking it here. There is more happening here in terms of “consciousness” than in DC even, for instance, which is 10 times the size. There is a strong A/R community, cutting-edge addiction-recovery community, and the people are awesome. I am a fish-in-water here and looking forward to what I can create here in terms of A/R leadership. I want to start leading A/R to entrepreneur groups, which nobody else is doing here (or anywhere, as far as I know). Plus I am having success in dating (finally — Halleluja praise the Lord).
Business-wise it’s been slow in terms of income, but there is a lot of action. I have been re-investing in the web business, focusing on what I do best which is online education (the reason for my early success). I am doing a lot of research and writing, and discovering some talents for web design that I did not know I possessed (I am looking for business there, incidentally, in case you know anyone).
The most exciting thing, however, is a new business concept I have called Authentic Singles. I have temporarily put it on hold for financial reasons, but we will be starting to offer free- or low-cost intro events quite soon (Rebekah is on-board, which is very cool, and I have a few other partners as well). It’s potentially a game-changer business because the impact of A/R on dating and sexuality is huge (I have experienced this personally), and nobody else is doing online education in that area, at least that I am aware of. It’s tough to have to wait as I focus on bread-and-butter concerns (income); but I feel Okay about it too.
My biggest take-away here — and I will end with that — is that I am very happy being an entrepreneur. The “4-hour work-week” has been debunked, as the truth is that being a solo entrepreneur is pretty much the “best of times and the worst of times”. I understand that now. I have been to the bottom now and I have been to the top (in my best month at WP Academy I grossed $65k — although that was a long time ago). I feel somewhat intoxicated, and very fortunate, to have re-found my purpose in life. It feels like a “destiny” for me, that 35 years of developmental work (including making every mistake in the book in terms of sexual relationships) have led me to this.
So that’s where I am at. I am still feeling a bit “gaga” with all these changes, trying to find my rhythm, still dealing with some trauma (PTSD), of what I call the “30-year war against myself and against the world, trying to make a buck and get a little love, mostly unsuccessfully“. I long for more connection with myself and others, more success, more stability, comfort and ease. But I am also gradually accepting the way things are, and if that turned-out to be my real “destiny”, I could live with it (some tears coming here).
As always, fell free to reach out, either via reply to this mail or comment.